Breakups can be one of the best things to happen to you!


I whole heartedly believe that some people are meant to be in your life for a reason, whether it be for a season or a lifetime. Every relationship I have been in has helped me mature and discover so many good and not so good things about myself, allowing me to self-reflect in order to become the woman I want to become.This wasn’t always an easy concept to accept because in those moments in time, I truly wanted the person I was in a relationship with to remain in my life forever. When each relationship proved to not last a lifetime, I was heartbroken. I struggled to understand what went wrong. 

After each of my past four relationships came to an end, my mom provided much clarity. She consistently reassured me that each relationship is a stepping stone to help determine what you want and don’t want in your future partner. Because each breakup was painful in its own way and I wouldn’t wish a breakup on any person, I hated hearing that! But despite the pain endured, I understood what she was saying. I wasn’t going to settle, when I knew what I deserved in a partner. I found how important it is to not point fingers and play the blame game. I knew I had to look deeper and ask myself, “What can I do differently next time around to attract exactly what I’m looking for in my future partner?” One of my biggest strengths is my ability to recognize my self-worth and what I deserve in a relationship. I’ve been lucky to experience being in a relationship with a few really great guys, but unfortunately we were on different wavelengths. 

Because of one relationship, I was introduced to a loving family foundation that supported one another through the good and bad times. His parents depicted my idea of the perfect marriage, a marriage I hope to have someday in my future.Another relationship taught me the way a woman deserves to be treated. He treated me like a queen and I believe he truly would have done anything for me. I’m incredible grateful to have had a person set reasonably high expectations for any other man that may enter my life.The third relationship showed me the importance of having chemistry that stimulates the mind. This relationship showed me what it’s like to be in a romantic relationship with my best friend. Because of this relationship, I had the courage to travel to California and follow my dreams while tackling everything I wanted in my life at full force.

The relationship that lasted only a season helped me realize the results of being in a codependent relationship, where we dependent on one another to fulfill something that we are both lacking. Because of him I learned to make compromises with another that has the same values and life goals.

Overall, each relationship served its purpose in my life. Because of each relationship, as well as it’s ending, I see more clearly as to what I want in my future partner (which=lifetime). Most importantly, I learned that it’s crucial for each person to come into a new relationship internally happy with oneself before committing to another, otherwise the relationship will fall apart. Self-love is extremely important in order to create the life you want and because of my breakups, I see it all so much more clearly. 

The most important thing to take from my experiences, is the importance of loving oneself unconditionally. Once you are able to do this, you become capable of taking on the world. Treat yourself the way you would like to be treated. Don’t stay in a toxic relationship because you fear being alone. Discover who you are and trust me, everything will fall into place eventually. You won’t regret it!

Practice being happy on your own, you don’t need another to complete you

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  1. Latvia | 7th Jun 16

    Great post.

  2. Shaniece | 8th Jun 16

    I’m happy you enjoyed it Latvia!

  3. JESSICA REYNOSO | 8th Jun 16

    Agreed Shaniece! I remain grateful for the good and the bad because it’s all a learning journey and practice to a future stronger, more experienced, wise Woman I put every day into being. So in conclusion if u were in nicer words a Jerk in my life THANK YOU 🙂 For teaching me patience, when to stand my values/ morals strong & hopefully recognize when I have one in front of me again. lol 🙂

    Well said, I look forward to more from you!

  4. Sheekaleek | 8th Jun 16

    I got emotional because I remember. I love how life has molded you. Xoxo

  5. Trey | 8th Jun 16

    I learned that a person shouldn’t expect a relationship to workout if they haven’t gotten rid of the baggage from past relationships. That baggage won’t allow a person to fully express themself, nor will it allow them to receive the complete amount of love trying to be shown to them from their current partner.

  6. Shaniece | 15th Jun 16

    So true.Trey thanks so much for sharing your experience and knowledge.

  7. Shaniece | 15th Jun 16

    Sheekaleek, I have to say that I really appreciate my experiences and the woman it molded me to be today!

  8. Shaniece | 15th Jun 16

    Well said Jessica. I’m glad we can put these experiences in perspective so we can distinguish what we want in our future partner!

  9. Ladytee | 5th Jul 16

    I ‘ve been in a longtime relationship with one guy. He was my high school sweetheart. Since I have changed my life around the relationship is different. We are not on the same page. I’ve tried to encourage, support and set an example for him,but he just not willing to change. I’ve prayed for God to help us. Well, the answer I’ve received is to let go of him, because he’s blocking my blessings. So on the 4th of July I did what God told me. I was in this relationship because I wanted it. Like God said ” your plans are not my plans and your thoughts are not my thoughts “. It’s only been one day, but I know I will be alright. Because I am a strong independent woman. I am free!

  10. Shaniece | 6th Jul 16

    Ladytee, I know it must have been hard to break it off, but sometimes it truly the best thing that can happen especially if you both are not on the same page. Toxic relationships are not the way we should be living, it just stops someone great that is better compatible for us to enter into our lives. Thanks for sharing Ladytee!

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