I am always fascinated conversing about topics that many people don’t discuss out loud and keep in their head because they subconsciously ignore the emotion or don’t want to discuss it because it makes them feel uncomfortable. Today I speak about the unspoken words of jealousy. I think this topic is very important because jealousy is a negative emotion that can really stop one’s growth and slow them down towards their goals.

I believe no one intends to feel jealous. One of the ways this emotion can occur is feeling inferior to another, which brings about self-doubt and berates ourselves with self-critical thoughts. Today I brought one of my favorite ladies, Sheree, to help me discuss this topic. I’m truly blessed to have her as a long time friend, who always been very blunt and honest with her thoughts. Let’s take the time to reflect on these three questions and be honest with ourselves on where we stand when it comes to jealousy.

1.Do you celebrate other people’s success or achievements?

When someone you know accomplishes one of their goals, how do you feel even when you haven’t achieved what you want yet? Are you genuinely happy for them or are you putting on a front and burning inside with jealousy that he or she achieved one of their goals first?

My friend Mo launched his high-end clothing line a few months after I launched my blog. During the time he was working towards launching his company we actually weren’t friends. When I met Mo, he briefly told me about his overall goal for his company that he was launching and I was extremely excited for him although I didn’t even know him. The point that I’m trying to make is that, whether I know you or not, if you are working towards or doing something that you are passionate about, I’m sincerely happy and want to support you in any way I can. There is no reason to feel envious over an opportunity that one is trying to create for themselves. I believe everyone has a gift and there is more than enough in this world to go towards what you want.

2.Are you able to give someone a compliment when it’s due?

The ability to give a compliment to someone not only says something about your character, but reinforces your own self-awareness and self-confidence. Believe it or not, it’s difficult for some to acknowledge someone’s recent success or give credit when it’s due, but why is that?

” Strong people compliment others because they don’t feel threatened by their achievements.”

~Quoted by By M.Farouk Radwan, MSc.

Question for you,are you strong or self-Conscious?

3. When you compare yourself to someone do you feel envious?

Have you ever noticed that someone you knew was achieving his or her personal goals faster than you and you immediately began to feel some sort of envy?If so, ask yourself, “Why am I feeling like this? I know I’m genuinely happy for him/her, but where is this coming from?” One thing I have  come to understand about myself was that I am an emotional being and my first instinct is to compare myself to others subconsciously. By doing, this it has caused me to sometimes feel a sense of inferiority, which ultimately resulted in me feeling a bit of anger and jealousy.

Yes, those feelings are normal, but what sets you apart from everyone else is just a matter of what you opt to do with those feelings. One could either internalize them allowing them to fester into a more toxic version of self-pity/hate or one could recognize those feelings, check them at the door and choose to use that as motivation to keep pushing forward and give credit where credit is due – she worked hard for what she’s obtained. I always chose the latter.

As I’ve gotten older, I have come to realize that not only does one’s success arrive when it’s supposed to, but it arrives when one can truly appreciate it. We all have different goals, different routes, and different visions and with that comes many paths for one to obtain their prize.

~Sheree

According to Lisa Firestone Ph. D., From Psychology Today  “jealousy is a natural, instinctive emotion that everyone experiences at one point or another.”

3 Tips to Stop Jealousy and Comparing Yourself to Others

1.     Be more cautious of your thoughts. Yoga is great way to get in tune with your thoughts and feelings.
2.     Practice gratitude and happiness.
3.     Sincerely be more loving to yourself and others.

What are your thoughts on this topic? I would love to hear them!

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