3 Steps to Gain Confidence!

Hi, Bloomers!

I hope you all had a great weekend. I’m so excited to be back to discuss a topic that most of us battle with, but fear talking about in a group setting or even out loud to ourselves.

The topic that I’m going to discuss today was requested by one of Bloom’s first subscribers. I briefly touched on this topic last year, but I knew I needed to further discuss it more because this is something that many of us go through at some point in our lives or sadly some people struggle through this their whole lives.

Let’s circle back to why confidence is so essential to have. As we know confidence plays a huge role in pursuing anything our heart desires. Confidence allows you to not only stay on track with your goals, but it also gives you the ability to truly take control of your life in areas such as social environment, relationships with your significant other, friendship, family, career, etc.… Without it we can’t live out our purpose or be genuinely authentic and express who we are unapologetically. If we can’t be true to ourselves, are we really living or existing?

Why do many of us lack confidence and where does it come from?

It comes from limiting beliefs that were instilled in us subconsciously and was carried with us from an early age until now. According to psychologists, anywhere/anytime parents are crucial to children’s feelings about themselves, particularly in children’s early years. “If parents encourage children’s moves toward self-reliance and accept and love their children when they make mistakes, children will learn to accept themselves and will be on their way to developing self-confidence. If one or both parents are excessively critical or demanding, or if they are overprotective and discourage moves toward independence, children may come to believe they are incapable, inadequate, or inferior.” It’s Important to know that self-confidence also stems from unrealistic expectations or standards of others, society, family or friends. Now that we have some type of understanding on where the lack confidence may come from, it’s important for you to explore what area you lack in. The only way to understand is to look within and pay attention to when you’re feeling meek or when you become uncomfortable in a certain situation. Jot and ponder the feeling on why you felt unconfident during that time.

After you identify where you are lacking confidence, you can apply these 3 steps to gaining confidence!

Wake up and set the attention to being more confident. Remember you don’t need permission from anyone or validation to decide to be more confident.

How to make it work for you: Before heading out the door in the morning, spend 5 minutes in the mirror saying affirmations out loud to build yourself up. You can find positive affirmations to help build confidence here

Face your fears. Do you find you’re unsure or feel uncomfortable about something whether it’s changing careers, deciding to go back to school, starting your own business etc.…? Change is scary, but we can’t let that overtake us.

How to make it work for you: I challenge you to go towards your fear, if you can do this you’re one step closer to conquering your fear and taking control of your life/emotions. Ask yourself, what is the worst thing that can happen? Remember to believe in yourself because if you don’t who else will?

Build your momentum by pushing through self-limiting beliefs.

As children, we believed that anything is possible, but as we become older we start to doubt our ability to go towards our dreams due to parents and teachers conflicting their own beliefs on what we can and can’t do.

How to make it work for you: One has to rise above this by making the decision not to give these thoughts lots of energy, but instead replace these thoughts with a positive thoughts or actions about ourselves (sit with 3 positive thoughts about yourself for 30 seconds).

I hope these three steps help you towards gaining more confidence.

I would love to hear from you,

What is the action you took to help you become more confident?